Cinema Report Rating System

I’ve taken the initiative to try and explain the cinema report’s rating system and the method to my madness in why I rate this or that movie review with this or that rating and at the same time it allows you to have a glimpse into my window of insanity and why I try to include some sense of humor into my rating system’s. Please let it be known, that you’ll never ever catch me assuming that any of my wonderful and amazing readers will understand my sense of humor unless you’ve had the opportunity to get to know me, and this is because assuming makes an a** out of you and me. Geddit? No? Oh, pooh. Anyways, I’ve always blogged about books off and on since the years 2015 and/or 2016 when I first made the transition into being a book blogger after winning my first ever book giveaway (it was a signed paperback called Pretty-Girl 13 by Liz Coley) but never have I ever tried to write a review for movies until I had been inspired from my friend Charli’s book blog as she writes them on a daily basis. I figured attempting this new inspiration will allow me to broaden my horizons and also broaden the interests of my lovely readers. Yes, I am doing this for you guys and myself as well. In order to understand why I try to implement a sense of humor into my rating system’s it is because I don’t want to sound redundant, dull, and mundane and be like everyone else that writes either book reviews, movie reviews or both. This rating system will allow you to have a better understanding as to why I give certain ratings for certain movie reviews. OH, one more thing the image that you will see shortly is a chalkboard thing that all directors in a movie or a tv show will use to allow them to know what scene and take they are all on and it has this loud obnoxious sound that the two bars come crashing down on each other and it is called Clapperback. Weird name, right? Yup, I try to include an image with my rating systems other than those dull, bland, and boring stars that everyone seems to hate but still uses on their book/movie reviews. I’m using the clapperback flat icon image as it just made a lot of sense to use it as I believe everyone may know what it is compared to some of the other icons I had found and decided against. Anyways and without further aideu…my Cinema Report’s Rating System guide explained :

The Cinema Report’s Rating System Explained :

Clapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating System : Blew Me Into Yesterday!
Clapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating System: Oh, Snap!
Clapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating System: Daaannnggg!!!
Clapperback Cinema Report Rating SystemClapperback Cinema Report Rating System: What In The World…?
Clapperback Cinema Report Rating System: Yikes!!!

What does it all mean?!

5 CLAPPERBACKS :

Blew Me Into Yesterday :

I’m sorry for any confusion that this sentence in my rating system for 5 clapperbacks that it has caused, or if at all? Let me explain what this rating means. When a movie receives this rating, of “Blew Me Into Yesterday,” it simply means that this movie instantly became a favorite of mine as it managed to hold my ADHD ridden mind, and is also one of those rare masterpieces that it just blew me away. Geddit now?

4 CLAPPERBACKS :

Oh, Snap! :

This rating should seem clear enough that it doesn’t or shouldn’t need an explanation, but just in case no one has heard of this phrase from the 90s, please let me explain this rating. The rating of “Oh, Snap!” basically means that when a movie receives this rating it is letting you know that the movie was extremely well crafted into a work of art that managed to keep my ADHD ridden mind’s interest throughout the entire movie. Ya dig now?

3 CLAPPERBACKS :

Daaannnggg!
I would hope that you guys have heard of this word at least once or twice in your lives, am I right or for whatever reason that you haven’t heard of this word, I will explain this rating so that we all can be on the same page. The movie receiving this rating has deserved every syllable of this word. Despite having ADHD, this movie proved to be a little successful with keeping my interest. Despite some scenes that are slow and a bit boring, I’ve managed to finish the movie with a peace of mind. This movie was very interesting to say the least and wouldn’t mind rewatching it again as I didn’t think it was at all possible to like a movie such as this that managed to some how keep my interest.

2 CLAPPERBACKS :

What In The World…?

Does this rating even need to be explained? But just in case some of you may not know what this means, never fear! Jamie’s here to save the day! When a movie receives this rating, it literally means that the movie was good enough to watch despite being a slow burner and some what of a mind trip that made me question why I had chosen to watch this movie. Despite having scratched my own head, I would try to give this movie another viewing just to not be biased towards it, the director, the writers, and the actors who worked their butts off.

1 CLAPPERBACK(S) :

YIKES!!!!

To be completely honest with all of you, I feel a bit silly having to explain this simple saying, but again don’t assume right? When a movie receives this rating of “Yikes” it just simply means that the movie was god awful and I pretty much wasted my time, my effort, and my life watching this movie that is still making my scratch my head just thinking about it. Despite scratching my head just thinking about it, I have to be honest this movie made me fall asleep it was that awful. In laments terms, what were these writers thinking when they were creating this flop house of a mess? I hope this about sums up this saying “Yikes” and it is crystal clear what it means?

That about sums it up, don’t you think?

And there you have it, this is my cinema report rating system guide that I hope has been at least helpful with explaining why I rate my movie reviews the way I do all the while using some humor to boot. This rating system guide for the cinema report is basically allowing you to have a glimpse into the madness of my mind and methods of doing things. If you’re at all unclear as to any of the explainations i’ve just provided, please don’t hesitate to contact me either through the comments on the latest blog post or via the contact page and ask and you shall receive. Kapeesh?